one month checkup



today was elleanor's 1 month checkup.
we hadn't been since she was 5 days old, so a lot of time had passed and we were anxious to see how much this girl weighed and to ask the dr. all of our many questions.
and to inform him of  ALL that we have already been through this first month.

got our questions answered.
told him about her regurg issues.
she spits up like nobody's business, amazing how much weight she has gained (we'll get to that in a minute) with all that comes out of her!
when she eats she chokes a lot and doesn't tolerate how much and how fast my milk flows so this doesn't help.
told him what we had been doing at home already and it does help some but not completely like the head of her bed up, burping frequently and holding up for 20min after feeding her.
the regurg issue seems to be the main reason now that she doesn't sleep well and the gas is coming secondary to that.
he gave us some zantac to help with the reflux issues, she'll get it 3 times a day.
then he also gave us a med that we can use when she is having her horrible tummy cramping from gas (he said this one was pretty mild but we would try it first).
i have to give a shout out to our pediatrician here, tim and i both love him.

other than the issue mentioned above elleanor checked out perfectly.
no shots done at this visit, which was great!
Her weight a whopping 10lbs 4.5 oz, 75%!
Height 21 inches, 50%
and Head 14 1/2 inches, 50%!
measurements where great!  this girl knows how to eat and pack on the lbs even with all the spitting up!
we go back in 1 month, same time as caraline's 2 year appt.
that should be fun (sarcasm), both girls by myself and both getting shots, whoa!

and an update to my last post.
this last week was so so so much better.
started sleep training and it is going great for napping, but we are still getting up x2 at night to feed.
we are letting elleanor learn to self soothe and cry it out, we did the same for caraline, but this time we have had to modify it a little bit due to the reflux because the consistent crying makes it worse.
really hoping the zantac will work.
but we did have the best night we've had so far last night.
elleanor went 5 hours before her first nighttime feeding and I got about 71/2 hours of sleep last night!
i felt like a brand new person today!


and some updates on this cutie....

she is doing much much better.
she is not going crazy on her door (the kicking, hitting and screaming) at bedtime anymore.
she still does get out of bed and sleeps at the door at times but Tim has been able to put her back in bed without her waking up and freaking out so she sleeps in her bed a lot more too.
naps are much easier, she most of the time has started going right down again, but when she doesn't, she only cries for maybe a couple of minutes and then is fast asleep.
(more on her next month as we go for her 2 year checkup, yikes!!!!)

and last just to let everyone know how much better I (we ) are, I have been home by myself this afternoon while Tim went to grocery store and gym and I was able to feed both babes and myself, and get them down for simultaneous naps!! woohoo!! I CAN DO THIS!

E is 1 month old today!

I know our 1 month sign is a little rough, not really what I had in mind but this is what we have, maybe I can be a little more creative next month.  Also I wrote most of this last night and have been too tired to go back and read through today so hoping most of it makes sense:)

Can't believe that a whole month has passed.

The days and nights just run together, I couldn't even tell you what day of the week it was if I didn't look.

This first month has been hard.

Not just hard, but so much harder than I ever imagined it to be.

My tears have came almost daily (and many times it has been multiple times daily).

I question myself all the time if I (we) can do this.
I know that I (we) can and that this phase will pass, but in the moment those thoughts get the better of me.

Of course I had people tell me that having 2 this close together was difficult, but "difficult" has been an understatement.
We have been so exhausted.
For 4 weeks there was no more than 2 hours of sleep at a time for this mommy.
That's when it came time for the ambien.
Thank goodness for my momma and Tim, who took care of Elleanor for the night so that I could take an ambien and try to catch up on some much needed rest.

Elleanor has not been a happy baby in her first month.
She has cried, cried, and cried some more.
Not just I need held, fed or changed cried.
But inconsolable screaming.
So thankful for my laid back momma, that has been here on the weekends to take care and calm Elleanor when this momma was having her crying breakdowns. 
Love my momma so much!
And so thankful for my mother-in-law that brought us dinner countless times so that we could have a good meal and where able to take the time to eat it while she was here, and for keeping C for me when Tim was working so that I didn't have both of the kiddos by myself for an extended period!
Also my friends who have asked time and time again what they could do to help us out, but I have a hard time of letting people help and have mostly refused, afraid for them to see the emotional wreck that I have been.
But I was informed last night that I couldn't refuse their help anymore and that they were going to bring us more dinner and do whatever they could.
Thank you girls, you know who you are, love you!

And oh baby Caraline.
She decided to refuse sleep in this first month of having Elleanor here too.
That's right our easy perfect little napper/sleeper at night Caraline had gone to getting out of bed and kicking, hitting, screaming at her door.
Tim was having to stay in her room with her until she feel asleep and then she was still getting up and doing the same thing in the middle of the night.
And us in our vulnerable, sleepless states was letting her get away with it and just putting her in bed with one of us ( the one that wasn't up pacing with the baby).

But then came this past Sunday.
The hubster and I sat down and had a talk.
We decided that we were taking our house back.
Caraline would just have to stay at her door and fall asleep there.
And that's what has happened.
It didn't take long and the screaming fits at the door have stopped, she still falls asleep there but she has learned in just a couple of days that we are not going to come and get her, hopefully we are on our way to her staying in bed.

And since Elleanor was coming up on 4 weeks I decided it was time for her to be in her room.
I put C in her room about this time and sleep came much better for the both of us.
Elleanor has done great, we have started to let her cry it out a little at naps to get her use to going down on her own, will prob wait til 6 - 8 weeks to put it in full force, but for now what we are doing is working much better than anything else we were trying.
The past 2 days she has been a different baby.
A much happier baby.  (She still has her moments but definitely not as many and not lasting as long)!
She wakes up eats, is up for about an hour, and then sleeps for 1 1/2 to 2 hours before starting all over again. (of course this schedule is still a work in progress but this week she has been pretty on track)
She eats every 2 1/2 to 3 hours, mostly 2 1/2 during the day, every 2 in the evening hours for a couple of feedings and then still 3 hours at night (really hoping we can stretch this out soon).

Nursing issues, we've had them.
From yeast infections, to oversupply problems and bad latch-ons, but we have overcome 2 and are getting there on the oversupply issue (or at least I hope so).
The first few weeks I did not enjoy nursing at all and told myself I was quiting every night as I was in tears doing it.
But we are getting so much better at it.
I remain nursing on the same side 2 feedings in a row so that Elleanor gets the hindmilk that she needs and to try and get my supply down, also pumping as little as I can (which can be hard with the whole not feeding on 1 side for the 2 feedings in a row).
E's latch on is great now, we have adjusted to each other and there is no soreness so I have come to love nursing just as I did with Caraline, (however I still have an occasional gripe session about it in the middle of the night:)

Having another daughter and a little sister for Caraline has made our family complete!
I cannot even begin to tell you how much love I have in my heart for these 2 girls and the hubs, it is full!
Caraline loves to hold and kiss on her sister, it makes my heart so happy!
I was so worried about not having my sole attention for Caraline but Tim has stepped in and she is loving her daddy time, (though I have to admit that it is making me a little jealous:)
And though Elleanor may be a tad difficult, she has me smitten!!
She is so amazing and I am so thankful for her!
She is starting to smile more and more each day and I am loving it!
And instead of just crying and crying she has started to enjoy playing in the floor and just being held and talked to.
I absolutely love our little family of four and can't imagine my life any other way!
We go to the doc on Monday for our 1 month check-up and will post again on Elleanor's measurements!

Here are a few pics from yesterday morning, we had a good day the day before and a good night Monday night so we actually had some good quality family of four time outside.  (but still sleep deprived, just explaining why we look the way we do.lol)!





embrace the camera: July 14, 2011

We had a little newborn/family photo session done last week and here are a few of those with Tim, I and our babies!!

4th of July!

We started off celebrating over at my cousin Myrna's house this year.

My 90 year old grandma Ruby was there so I definitely wanted to take my girls over there for a bit to see her!

It would be her first time to see the new miss Elleanor.

Grandma held E while Tim and Caraline had some fun time in the pool!

Then back at our house we celebrated with fun in the backyard, dinner, and fireworks with our parents, siblings, and the kiddos!

It was a fun day even though little miss Elleanor and I stayed indoors most of the time because it was way too hot for us!

(she really didn't want her picture taken at this time.lol)



First bath at home!

Elleanor loved her first bath given to her at home!
She didn't cry at all but just looked around and enjoyed it!!

Embrace the Camera: July 7, 2011

Elleanor's 1st appearance on embrace the camera!!

We are loving the moby wrap at our house!

now it's your turn to go embrace!



2 weeks flew by!

elleanor claire 4 days old



Elleanor has been in this world for 2 weeks now.
It really has flown by although there were several nights that seemed like they would never end!
First few nights home of course the adrenaline was still there and we were in baby heaven.
The friday after we were discharged (which was a wednesday) we had our first well visit/weight check.
Everything looked great and Elleanor had gained 6 oz  since we left the hospital!
Well that night we came down off of our high and reality sank in.

We started our first weekend off with a fussy/gassy screaming inconsolably for 2 to3 hours at a time.
Thought we were going to lose our minds, I pretty much cried for 48 hours straight this weekend.
Same weekend I realized that i had a yeast infection on my nipples (sorry if TMI) and E had thrush in her mouth!  Talk about hurting, nursing was extremely painful and I had to start using the shield to help with the pain.  So we both got our meds started, which we are both still on.  Then I started to get clogged ducts and was afraid I was getting mastitis so the pumping began.  And oh by the way during all this I also have a super super oversupply so I had already pumped like 60 oz of breastmilk which had to be dumped due to the possibility of having yeast bc apparently freezing kills everything but that, uggh!  So with this super oversupply I am now only feeding on one breast at a time in hopes that my supply will go down and adjust to what E is actually needing, let me tell you it can be really painful waiting 6 hours at times to feed on the other side and only pumping til comfort when needed.  Another thing we have to do is sterilize (boil) anything that comes into contact with my breasts or Elleanor's mouth for 20 minutes each day.  Let me tell you how ready I am for this week to be over, so that the meds and this extra nonsense are done with and I can work on just enjoying nursing my baby, bc right now all this stuff is making it very hard to enjoy:(....but we will push on through.  I loved nursing C, we did it for 11 months and I will do my best to try and make it through this rough patch and be able to continue nursing Elleanor also if her little self will let me!

Now enough for all the rough stuff.
She may be a bit of a difficult baby, but we are so head over heels in love with Elleanor.  In the past few days she has started to act like her tummy feels a tiny bit better and she has awake periods where she is not crying and just enjoys having us talk to her and love on her!  Caraline also loves her little sister very much.  She wants to hold her every chance she gets and doesn't like it when it is time for mommy to take her away.  She doesn't act jealous when we are nursing but is very interested in what we are doing.  Silly girl came up to me the other day when I was pumping and raised up her shirt wanting to pump too.lol! Of course Caraline is having her moments where she is acting out but is it from bringing a new baby home, her being almost a terrible two, or is it both?..Don't know but we will get through it whatever the cause. We have also had better nights mixed in with the really bad nights too, we actually had 3 in a row recently where E just ate and went right back to sleep, which made for a much happier (better rested) mommy and daddy these days.  She is still looking like her mommy but her looks are changing daily so guess we'll see!  Hair remains dark and eyes are a very dark blue right now!  At times it looks like she has tiny tiny dimples but it may just be the chub she has on her cheeks right now bc neither Tim nor I have those ( but we also have a blue eyed, blonde haired Caraline so who knows)!  I know that this is all over the place but I am finishing this post up on about 2 1/2 hours of sleep from last night so it's going to be scattered.lol!!

I have to say that I am still so glad that Elleanor's arrival was timed when it was so that I am able to have Tim here day in and day out to help me!  But I know that he is needing to get some hours in at his part-time job at the driving school and I am needing to figure out how to manage the 2 girls by myself, stressing just thinking about it, but for now he is home and I LOVE it!

Here are a few pics of us our first evening home when we were a little more rested, much better than compared to what we are looking lik this moment!