Monday, August 8, 2011

huge help!!! (and week 6 definitely not our week to turn things around)....

this past Thursday we had a wonderful helper come to stay with us for a few hours.
it was cousin Mel!!
it was great to have her here with me and the girls while Tim was working.
she kept Caraline company and played and played and played with her.
I was able to get some cleaning and laundry done which hasn't happened in a while!
and C loved having cousin Mel here for her to play with.
can't wait to have her back!
here are a few pics of all those cutie pies!

now onto our week 6.
I had heard from a lot that week 6 was the turning point.
the magical time when things just got better.
not so much at our house.
we had one good week.
oh week 4 how I miss you.
this week the naps were great and the nighttime sleep was getting better.
then came week 5 and 6.
no other word for these weeks but miserable.
we love love love our new little bundle of joy to death and I am sure one day we will look at our 2 girls and think back to this time and say that we wouldn't have done it any other way.
but for now it is so hard to see past the sleepless nights and no napping days and the crying that I hear constantly even when there is none (yes, I wake up after dozing off thinking I am hearing the crying of one of the girls and nope the sound is just embedded in my head).

had my 6 week checkup with my ob this past Wednesday.
didn't go very well.
doc came in asked me how I was and the tears came.
oh and before this the nurse had informed me that my blood pressure was 136/91! what? it is usually in the 1-teens/70.
definitely stress and lack of sleep getting the better of this momma's mind and body.
also the hubs and I are at each other most days, we say things we don't mean and put blame where it doesn't belong.
we do always apologize to each other each night after the kiddos are both in bed and we are preparing for our maybe 2 hours of sleep before Elleanor wakes, knowing it is of course the lack of sleep getting to us.

after my doc's appt. I knew that something had to change.
and it was ME.
I had been so intent on working on sleep training, letting Elleanor 'cry it out' for sleep, really wanted it to work, especially with having a toddler, I needed my baby to be easy to put down.
well with a baby with reflux and colic (horrible gas) this just doesn't work but makes it worse so that's just not happening right now, maybe we can go back to it soon.
and I was so so wanting to get on a tight feeding schedule, thinking that this would make things with the 2 so much easier, in another life maybe, but not in this life right now.
I would get so stressed if Elleanor wasn't awake long enough, awake too long, if she didn't nap through to her next feeding, and I could tell that I had gotten this rigid plan into Tim's head and it was stressing him out too.
we did a schedule with Caraline but not this early and not as rigid as I have been trying to be with Elleanor.
I really wanted success with these things but for us at this time, it was just not working.
for the past 3 days I have let go of my time frame, let go of watching the clock and wanting things to happen in a specific time slot.
I have to say that my stress level has dropped TREMENDOUSLY!!!
no tears since Friday, which is a big big deal!
no the sleeping, gas, and fussiness have not been cured or even helped by this, but my state of mind and my health totally have!
I truly plan on going back to the sleep training, when the reflux/colic allows.
and yes there will be a schedule.
will it be my dream schedule?, probably not, but I think Elleanor and I can try to!
in reality a specific schedule for the Maxeiner's has to almost be flexible on a daily basis.
my work schedule changes from week to week, Tim's schedule is craziness between 2 jobs and being a basketball coach (games and practices different nights each week, and the girls will go between 3 different places during the week (home, Nana's and aunt Mary's).
I think it's just going to be crazytown at the Maxeiner's house for a while and hopefully as one of my friends told me I can just embrace the craziness and begin to laugh with it instead of cry!
so for now I am just settling with being one of those "go with the flow" people, at least until we are getting a little better around here. (really hoping it's in just a couple of weeks or so!)
and I have to say that it has put me in a much better place at this time!
(but we will indeed go back to the sleep training and working on a schedule when we are all fixed up!)

lastly, I have high hopes for week 7!
praying good things happen at the Maxeiner house this week!
(this little gal is chunky enough to wear all of those cute clothes miss tiny Caraline didn't ever grown into, which makes Tim happy so he doesn't feel like we wasted our $!)

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